I suffer from depression... when I say that I suffer from depression I need you to understand what I mean... I personally go through bouts of depression... my mother has been in the grips of serious depression for over a decade... some of my immediate family members are depressed as well. So when I say to you that I suffer from depression, I want you to know, that even when I am having a good day, a good week, or a good month... I STILL suffer from depression, through those that I love, each and every day. Depression is a part of my life, It is always there, like an unwanted house guest, sitting on my couch, eating up all my food, sucking all the air out of a room.
So when I go quiet on my blog, for a few weeks, or months... it is probably because I am pulling myself up by my boot straps, or pulling my mother out of the pit that she is always in, or just trying to find some peace in the storm.There are times when I feel like I am treading water, just keeping my head above the surface.... keeping everyone in this house fed, and clothed, and as well as can be.
The times when I move forward... making actual progress... doing more than the bare minimum is so precious to me. When I find time to go into my studio and make something beautiful,it is my therapy. It is something I have been finding more and more time to do lately.
I almost hesitate to say it, as if I will jinx it, but lately I have been moving forward, a little bit at a time. Doing more than the bare minimum. One of the things that I've always wanted to do is to open an ETSY STORE. However I never found the energy to actually to it... before now!!! I am so pleased to say that I have done it. FINALLY!!! A few of my friends have made purchases, and that means the world to me!!!! It means so much more to me than making a sale, it is making progress!!!!
I am moving forward... there I said it!!! I am making progress!!! I am finding joy everyday!!! Do I still deal with depression??? OH yes I do!!! I'm afraid that particular house guest is here to stay, but at least right now, I am not letting it take over, I'm dealing with it, and (at the risk of sounding redundant) I am moving forward!!!!