Moving forward...

I suffer from depression... when I say that I suffer from depression I need you to understand what I mean... I personally go through bouts of depression... my mother has been in the grips of serious depression for over a decade... some of my immediate family members are depressed as well. So when I say to you that I suffer from depression, I want you to know, that even when I am having a good day, a good week, or a good month... I STILL suffer from depression, through those that I love, each and every day. Depression is a part of my life, It is always there, like an unwanted house guest, sitting on my couch, eating up all my food, sucking all the air out of a room. 

So when I go quiet on my blog, for a few weeks, or months... it is probably because I am pulling myself up by my boot straps, or pulling my mother out of the pit that she is always in, or just trying to find some peace in the storm.There are times when I feel like I am treading water, just keeping my head above the surface.... keeping everyone in this house fed, and clothed, and as well as can be. 

The times when I move forward... making actual progress... doing more than the bare minimum is so precious to me. When I find time to go into my studio and make something beautiful,it is my therapy. It is something I have been finding more and more time to do lately.

I almost hesitate to say it, as if I will jinx it, but lately I have been moving forward, a little bit at a time. Doing more than the bare minimum. One of the things that I've always wanted to do is to open an ETSY STORE. However I never found the energy to actually to it... before now!!!  I am so pleased to say that I have done it. FINALLY!!! A few of my friends have made purchases, and that means the world to me!!!! It means so much more to me than making a sale, it is making progress!!!!

I am moving forward... there I said it!!! I am making progress!!! I am finding joy everyday!!! Do I still deal with depression??? OH yes I do!!! I'm afraid that particular house guest is here to stay, but at least right now, I am not letting it take over, I'm dealing with it, and (at the risk of sounding redundant) I am moving forward!!!! 

Comments

[Kadee Metzger]

Yea, Carrie!! My beautiful writing friend and all around very creative person is back... so glad to read your new post!! Next I need to check out your Etsy shop! Keep up with those forward steps!

[Elna Wohlitz]

Reading you post today gave me hope. It made me think that the times I stare at the things in my studio will pass. The energy and the creative process will come again. It works in circles.
Keep Going! Keep Strong! Hope your ETSY store is a blast.
Elna

[Creativewingsboutique.blogspot.com]

hello Carrie, I am so glad to find such an amazing artist and blog...You are an inspiration and i hope you continue to blog even if it is just ocaasionally. Congrats on opening your etsy shop....I am sure you will be a success
hugs
tabitha

[D]

Carrie, I just happen to find your blog today. You are so talented. I read your blog. I have in the past been told that I suffered from depression most my adult life, well, Until this past December I went to a psychiatrics and I was told that I have Adult ADD. I have in the past 30 years tried about 15 or more anti-depressants needless to say none helped me. The only thing they helped me do was gain weight which I didn't not need to do and cost me about 30 years of my life. I am very thankful for finding a doctor that would listen to me without saying "here take this ......." I wish you the best. Hope to read more of your blog. Pam